When we come upon a conflict, as a rule, most people are unable to process in "real time". We tend to project the past unresolved conflicts in our experience "file", upon this present disagreement and "hear" the past instead of the here and now. We get into our anger chair and escalate into a climax of self-fullfilled abandonment. Through this process, we get to re-live every slight ever had until we shut out everyone, perpetuating ourselves as victims. However, conflict when approached as debate, can allow for both parties to express their opinions and in the end, that resolution can lead to clarity. These are the building blocks of intimacy. The kind that allows friends, lovers and family to build richer relationships because they exist within the real time and not that of our past. It is important to note that it is essential for all parties to be able to express and be heard before resolution can move forward. We can agree to disagree.
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